


Shades of Steve

by FallingStarlight (MorbidRobin)



Category: Avengers
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Comedy, Fluff, Fridge Horror, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 06:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11396763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorbidRobin/pseuds/FallingStarlight
Summary: When people think of Captain America, faithfulness, safety and steadfastness and most importantly, predictabilty is what usually comes to mind.The Avengers, especially Tony Stark can say that's all bullocks.Welcome to Shades of Steve, as narrated and bemoaned by a anonymous source who may or may not be the genius philanthropist with a heart condition.





	Shades of Steve

When people think of Captain America, faithfulness, safety and steadfastness and most importantly, predictabilty is what usually comes to mind. 

The Avengers, especially Tony Stark can say that's all bullocks.

Welcome to Shades of Steve, as narrated and bemoaned by a anonymous source who may or may not be the genius philanthropist with a heart condition. Or a rabid fangirl who writes Avengers slash.

Pffft... Whatever, back to the story.

Before the Serum and Ice

Steve was a little man who didn't like bullies. He came, he saw and was eventually conquered by said bullies.

 

After the Serum and Ice

Steve was a six foot tall man who enjoyed watching bullies squirm as he held them by their collars. From petty thieves to hoodlums on the street,none were spared. Spider Man is still pissed at Steve for stealing his spotlight. 

Before  
Steve was asthmatic with so many allergies.

After  
Steve would eat fried eggs, cold strawberry yoghurt, thick almond milk, wheat and only God knows what else while surrounded by animal dander as he ran around a burning building.

In case you're wondering what this means, the short and long of it is that he gobbled up food as he rescued pissed off animals from an animal shelter set on fire from a chemical explosion. 

Needless to say, asthmatics envy Steve. Those with other allergies envy him including Pepper, because she loves strawberries even though she's allergic. 

Before  
Steve was a poor kid living in the Great Depression.

After  
After getting through his head that Tony did have enough money and would gladly let him spend it, because he's Tony Stark, Steve still felt like he won the lottery. 

Let no one tell him about his back pay of seventy years...

Heaven forbid.

Anyways, Steve still felt like he won the lottery. He was determined to make money, but most importantly, spend money.

So what do you think he spent it on? 

Food. And more food, and more food around the world. And music and books, and more books and episodes of My Little Pony. 

Ehem. That was an error in translation. 

Eventually, the Avengers towers was littered with hardcover books that Steve was binge reading. Hardcover books made from recycled paper when Bruce gave him the birds and bees talk, sorry, the books and trees talk. 

And then Natasha introduced him to Amazon.

Needless to say, one Jeff Bezos was a very happy man. A very happy richer by the minute man.

When Steve was bored of shopping, (Thank sweet Jesus!), he donated money to multiple foundations, (he had Jarvis do the research, Against Malaria foundation was the best of out of many) and then just to annoy Tony, he donated to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. 

You know how rivalries between billionaires are. 

Of course, Tony is a philanthropist, but he was an anonymous one to the BAMG foundation. 

A smirking Gates, with his wife, thanking Tony for his contribution...

Was unbelievably embarrassing. They're rivals, for Pete's sake. Steve was ruining his bad boy image! 

(Tony is also still sulking that Steve's photo with the Gates is his highest liked photo on Instagram.)

Oh, and the acronym Steve invented for the Gates Foundation: #BAMF. 

And we can go on and on. Turns out Steve is a shrewd businessman. He dabbled in highly volatile stocks, had accounts offshore, bought large amounts of precious metals and farmlands in various countries round the globe, gave bitcoins to Wikileaks, supported multiple crypto currency developers. 

Giving Tony many sleepless nights worried that some alphabet government controlled agency was going to take Steve away.

Before  
A tiny asthmatic man who took risks who claimed he wasn't suicidal. 

After  
Steve would free fall from the Avengers tower, grinning and whooping like a mad loon before being rescued by a very pissed Tony. 

And one time, a very pissed Hulk.

Before  
A little allergy-prone man who couldn't talk to women was Steve.

After  
A Greek god who still couldn't talk to women even though they were attracted like moths to a flame. He blushed when Pepper complemented him or when Nat held his hands. 

This was subject to change after living and breathing with the man of absolutely no shame...

Thor.

(You thought I would say Tony...Suckers!)

Thor would walk buck naked even with the women around, much to Jane's embarrassment. His knowledge in Midigardian technology was way worse than Steve's, his social faux pas, even more terrible. His fair lady Jane would defend his honor and say in both Thor's and Steve's absence, that Thor was smarter than he let on and was trying in his own way, to help friend Steve adjust. 

Hah,like anyone would believe in Thor deliberately dumbing himself down and behaving like a golden retriever puppy, because of the cunning attributed to Loki and the hesitance people had to Thor at first...

Okay. Reverse, mate, turn around. This narrator doesn't need fridge horror. Curse you, TV Tropes!

So anyways, back to Steve...

Thanks to Thor, Steve got a whole lot better. He could finally not blush from females touching him. He could give kisses on the cheek.

But really, the best way to make Steve do something was to dare him.

So during a game of Truth or Dare, with everyone sans Tony and a very much alive Coulson, Nat dared Steve to kiss Clint. 

And Steve did it, open-mouthed, with tongue. That was the first time anyone has seen Coulson, Clint and Natasha blush furiously. Afterwards, Coulson took the two spies for a "mission."

Bruce couldn't get pics for Tony who was all pics or didn't happen. But Steve's face and Thor's rather vivid tale was enough for Tony. 

The team didn't play Truth or Dare for months.

In that time, Steve got a whole lot bolder. He did nude calendars and took selfies. Steve was breaking Instagram.

Tony was convinced that he had seen all the shades of Steve. 

So when Steve randomly kissed Tony in the middle of their usual arguments, Tony wondered if it was a dare, Steve showed him with much enthusiasm that it was indeed not, Tony decided that of the shades of Steve he loved, he loved this the most.

**Author's Note:**

> Ehem!  
> I happen to be a fan of the BAMF. Agaimst Malaria Foundation is real and does a lot good.


End file.
